lyrics | Pitou

I might be more like an animal

than you would have thought at first

your only conviction was

that I would have to choose

I’ll be running with the animal soon

always swore by the same remedy

to battle feelings with thought

but lately there’s a change in me

the words don’t really do

the words don’t really do much, no

humans rip open so easily

Their paper heads in the rain

I won’t be my own enemy

The skull no longer fools

The skull no longer fools this body

I’ll be running with the animal soon

into everlasting now

I’ll unfold myself

Slowly, parts of me, slowly parts of me

I’m here to be more like an animal

I’m here to fight more like an animal

I’m here to eat more like an animal

I’m here to bite more like an animal

I’m here to move more like an animal

I’m here to hunt more like an animal

I’m here to rest more like an animal

I’m here to play more like an animal

I’m here

I’ll be running with the animal soon

into everlasting now

I’ll unfold myself

Slowly, parts of me

Slowly,

we stepped on clouds as if they were stairs

I took the moon in my mouth

it lit up my cheeks from within

oh, I’ve always held onto this song of vertigo

but your love lifts me up

a balloon filled with helium

and there I go

I’m up in the sky

I will dance with you

there is a haze

every time they speak of what comes

I don’t want to think about how

the higher the harder I’ll fall

I’ve always held onto into song of vertigo

but your love lifts me up

a balloon filled with helium

and there I go

I’m up in the sky

I will dance with you

I've always held onto into song of vertigo

but your love lifts me up

a balloon filled with helium

and there I go

I’m up in the sky

I will dance with you

and love

if I plant a tree

I want it to be there tomorrow

if I birth a bird

I expect it to fly away the next day

I’m marching on

leaving behind

dry land full of seeds

and half-finished deeds

there’s no time to waste

all except time

the sun’s coming up

a daily alarm

I’m a hoarder

and now that this time is all mine

won’t spend it on anything at all

at all

time is running

race away your life

time is running

race away your life

time is running

race away

I push myself into light

I need it more than ever

my heart

you’re such a hard worker

you wiggle in my chest

unsure of what to follow

a servant without end

with no one to rule

keeping us covered

and unseen

as in a dream

I push myself into light

I need it more than ever

my one

you’re such a hard worker

you hold all that is dear

and I want us to reverse it

I want to see you steer

I don’t want to rule

I don’t want cover

here is the wheel

now move me

a deer in the headlights

but dancing underneath

I see; the audience’s a gimmick

they’re all in it with me

and as the curtains rise

I finally feel the fire

and as the curtains rise

I finally see your light

all your ways I’ll follow them blindly

I push myself into light

I need it more than ever

I’ve always been a dancer

no one knows

how it came

you were here

with your wings

they were broken

and no one knew

how to teach you

learned to fly

took you years

then you went up

and no one knew

how to say goodbye

to something

they’d never seen before

to something

they’d never see again

it’s been two weeks

since you’ve been here

I have a forbidden thought

I sometimes hope

that your wings

will break again

and you’ll come back again

I’ve made my own

but I don’t dare to fly

I don’t dare to try

A MOMENT ALONE

I didn't think that it would be for me
to look at someone without fear
but here in your room
with your face next to mine
I'm coming closer

do you know what I see
when you're looking at me
my brain stops and I get some rest
here in your room
with your face close to mine
there could be only us

but then black and gray come in
and then jealousy comes in
and the outside world comes in
and your history comes in
and my fears all come back in

across this crowded room I see a face
and I long for a moment alone with him
surrounded by my fears I see a face
and I long for a moment
come on give us a moment

will you all please leave this room
I see a face
and I long for a moment alone with him
surrounded by my fears I see a face
and I long for a moment
I long for that moment

PROBLEMS

I might have problems
she might be one, but when she tells me
I'll just have to take her hand
and follow her to the dark side
she will show me where the lights are
I'll just have to take her hand and follow
her to the dark side

when it is daytime
I find it hard to see where the lights are
I'll just have to take a hand
and go to under-lit places
I will easily see illumination
if I take a hand and let it take me
down to the dark side
down to the dark side

tell me how it's gonna be
when we are all the way down there
and there's nowhere to return to

I might have problems
she might be one
but when she tells me
I'll just have to take her hand
and follow her to the dark side

I FALL ASLEEP SO FAST

I fall asleep so fast
and dream of normal life
and it goes by, and I'm alright
reduce myself inside my skin
think: this is it and that's alright
it's all alright

then a word from the outside gets inside of me
and then I see that I was bigger all along
I let myself fall asleep again

now I'm up and standing
I see so much more
than when I was laying down there
down there on the floor
I see now what I could be living for

how can I fall asleep this fast
it's almost as if I want to dream of living small
out of fear - or just wanting to be comfortable
comfortable and fall

see it all while laying on the floor
no muscle flexed - the eye closed off
with nothing to get up for

now I'm up and standing
I am so afraid that I'll doze off again
with no word to wake me up again

CUT A HOLE

I'll cut a hole in my head
make you see the sun
through my eyes you'll see the sky
through my skin see the light
no head, no thoughts
it's what I have dreamed of
I am not dreaming anymore
only a window for you to look through

I'm drawn aside, I open up my view
for you

I'm not narrow, but it's easy to
lift me up when you need something to stand under
I wouldn't mind at all
no head no thoughts
it's what I have dreamed of
I am not dreaming anymore
only a window for you to look through

I'm drawn aside, I open up my view
for you

I am not giving in in this hope
there must be better ways to cope
see it all
but only through others

DECAY

you see darling
I'd give you the world but since it all isn't mine
I'll give you all that I truly own
I'll give it to you to live in
take it, use it, let it decay
be there, live there, make it your own
boy make me your home
black eyes told me you had left me this time for good
but fear not, you can return

I'm down and you can have it all
all that's left of me
boy have me, I will be yours
take it, use it, let it decay
be there, live there, make it your own
boy make me your home

LAY THIS WOMAN

I'll take this woman to bed
I'll take this woman to bed and lay her next to me
I'll put her body to rest
I'll put her body to rest until she's fully grown
and I'll let her take my place

I've had enough of the day
I've had enough of the day
I'm gathering remains
then I'll put my mind to rest
I will put my mind to rest until it's fully gone
and I’ll let her take my place

I see your face

I just want to cut

Make it bleed

But I know I’d be the one to die

I’m lowering my knife

Walk away

I’m packing up my things

Go away

I’d like to be the one who stays

But not if that means that I will decay

That’s over

Ask me to fight

Push the rock and wait

for those better times

But I cannot give you all

I need to save some strength

so that I can still walk away

I stand no chance in this fight

when the handle’s as sharp as the knife

I’ve tried to hold on

but these hands are too small

for all that you’re bringing in

I’ll have to begin dropping some of you

as I go

I see your face

I just want to cut

make it bleed

but I know I’d be the one to die

I’m lowering my knife

walk away

I’d understand your leaving

I am sorry for the twisted words

I only used them to suit you in a song

but now I really want you next to me

and not just here through a melody

hazy is easy - and a dream can handle anything

no use in writing down words - they are just words

but you were real and you were next to me

now you’re just here through this melody

always a line away

from what I’m trying to say

you need to understand

a song is not a man

no it’s just a

♪

here I

I am

dying

slowly

in search

of what

what is

Holy

something

to thee

devote

all I have to

out of all of me

that is the best of me

to turn it around

and search for the sound

that will free

in the end I’ll see

that that part is still the best of me

to walk away

when I know

that in the end

that is closer to thee

songs of Love

and songs of Sadness

same twelve tones and

me who has a choice

with what to fill this void

what melody

here I am

dying slowly

All - I have to

[learn to swim,

Swim in the big tear]

everywhere

there are lies being spoken

everywhere

there are hearts being broken

they’re all part of the big tear falling down on us

they’re all part of the big tear falling

when I was nine

the air started to smell of salt

I looked up and saw the sky

fill up with water

a big eye staring down at me

ready to wrap me in his tear

I tried to run

but that drop would get everyone

[and here we are stuck in the tear

But you’ll learn to swim]

everywhere I see heads getting older

everywhere I see minds getting smaller

all is part of the big tear falling down on us

all is part of the big tear falling

I tried to run - but that drop would get anyone

[one big tear comes floating by]

I tried to run - but that drop would get anyone

[and here we are stuck in the tear

but you’ll learn to swim]

slowly I learned how to swim

between the floating limbs here

in the tear I heard hearts breaking

every other minute

I had longed for shorelines

looking for some sand to land on

now I see that shore was fiction

there’s no getting out of floating

and here we are - stuck in the tear

but you’ll learn to swim here

[don’t try to run]

I have had

an unsettling dream

I couldn’t speak a word

only sing one melody

it kept creeping up on me

but I did not flee

liked that it haunted me

yes I swear: I was grateful

made me feel

more free than before

sometimes loud

sometimes soft

but always there with me

I didn’t want to wake up

I knew that I would never remember

what it was like to totally surrender, and then, and then

daylight pours in

I hear the birds

that one song they sing

I know that I lost mine

She faded into light

but one note

lingers inside of me

and it gives me comfort

some of my melody

GIVE ME A GLASS

give me a glass
to make the third and fourth eye disappear
give me a glass
to see myself less - and the world more clear

give me a glass
to break the wall and let the people in
I need a light, I take a window
warm up my within

give me a glass
to break the wall and let the people in
I need a light, I take a window
warm up my within

what a world
before my eyes she unfurls
pretty and nice, like she's made just for me
rabbits on ice - skating in rows of three
and as I sink I get nearer to thee
it might not be wise but sure tastes wonderfully

give me a glass
to make the third and fourth eye disappear
give me a glass
to see myself less – and the world more clear

BE DELICATE

I still need you
to tell me I did well
because I continue refusing
telling myself

I boil my blood
until it's flaming hot
and on that I put a pot
in which I put all my words

delicate, be delicate, be delicate, be delicate
I could be delicate

CABIN

I'm made of wood with a lot of windows
you can watch what's in me - 360 degrees
I'm in a forest, with a lake made for diving
I'm in a forest - I'm a cabin - I'm filled with light

one day she entered, she came from the lake
she never walked before, only floated in water

I took her in - she broke one of my windows
but I didn't mind 'cause now she was in me

she dried out by morning
the sun made her shrivel
I could've thought of that
but I didn't – nor did she
but I'm alright, I have some of her still in me

don't you forget what you lose
a hole is still a part of you

STAY

stay, don't walk away so quickly
I would like to show you the path
I was about to walk on
would you like to come

this is where I take the first steps
this is where I go
this is where the hill goes upwards
and this is where I fall

stay, don't walk away so swiftly
I know it is hard
it isn't easy soil to walk on
and we will get stuck
but if you took the time to look up
you would see the sky

that is where I'm going
it's the longest road I know
returning is the bad part
but I do it for the view

DEBT OF A LOVER

for the first time
I've not picked a side yet
within one week I've not yet decided
I am still waiting, waiting on blue
couldn't deny
he is taking good care
asking the questions but I won't answer
shouldn't have to diminish
to increase the light

go back into the dark
so I can try
over and over and over
I had learned just to love and not to slice
open oh open oh open
over and over and over
they all speak of another half
I've just started to see that I am one, and
I don't need someone to grow older
go back into the dark
so I can try
over and over and over
I had learned just to love and not to slice
open oh open oh open
go back into the dark
so I can try
over and over and over
don't just give me your heart, expecting mine
saying it's the debt of a lover
saying it's the debt of a lover

WALLS

I’m building up the wall and breaking down my life
instead of breaking down the wall and building up my life

my brain produces bricks
and will pile them up
until a wall arises
I built it myself

I’m building up the wall and breaking down my life
instead of breaking down the wall and building up my life

FOOL

come lay next to me my boy
I'm awake when you are sleeping
it's the only way I get into your dreams

come get next to me my boy
and I'll walk when you stand still
that's how I get you to follow me

and I'm a fool for you
that's what I'll do for you

HIS SONG

I give you this song
for I want to forget my memory of you
but I don't want the memory to be forgotten
therefore I'll sing these words
as if they were someone else's

I'll speak of him
instead of you
and pretend the lines of this song
have always been there

bird what do you sing
when the other is gone
for those wings were the ones that you flew with
and to enshroud your words
won't make them disappear
every word will be his from now on

I've been waiting for a long time here
it's been so cold without him near
I've been waiting for a long time to see him here
it's been so cold without him near

I can change my words, I can cover them up
but in every birdsong I will hear his song
every sound will encompass these words
I know, I know:
there's no bird that can compare to him at all